Kari Tales

Such a disappointment...

2009-07-16T10:36:00.003-05:00

I've been watching Tori & Dean on the Oxygen channel. It's one of the many brain-numbing reality shows I watch. In watching the show and reading about Tori in the media, I learned that she was launching a kids line of clothing, Little Maven. I got pretty excited for Baby Kate because there really aren't many fahion-forward choices for baby girls without spending a fortune.

Well, I caught a glimpse on Bloomingdale's website today. I was very disappointed to see a few pieces that were a little too Missoni for my comfort. Missoni is famed for it's knit wear of multi-colored stripes and patterns. Just like Burberry plaid, Missoni knitwear is identifiable upon first glance. I don't understand the need to steal concepts from other designers. In fact, I think it is deplorable. Anyone who knows me knows that like the animal rights folks, I'd like to throw blood, I mean red paint, on people's counterfeit/knockoff items.

Tori, this is your first season! If you are already knocking off designers in your first collection, will you ever come up with original items? It makes me not want to buy ANY items from the collection. - Such a disappointment.

A Slurpee and a Big Gulp

2009-07-10T10:11:00.005-05:00

I never dreamed those words would ever take on any meaning other than a cold refreshing beverage on a hot day. Unfortunately, my most recent trip to 7-11 changed that. It was 8:00 in the morning. I was hitting the ATM on my way to work (yes, I was almost on time that day.) As I excited the store, I realized that the truck I parked next to, that I thought had one guy sitting in it (passenger), actually had two people in it. I was unable to see the female occupant (driver) of the truck until her head popped up from the passenger side seating area. Even then I was totally naive and didn't realize what was going on until I saw her wipe her face off!!!

That's right folks, the passenger guy was enjoying a "Slurpee" and the driver girl had to take a "Big Gulp" when he was done!!!! I felt completely violated. It was 8am for goodness sakes! I hadn't even had my coffee yet. Once I realized what was going on, my brain went into overdrive. I had so many questions. How in the world do two people end up in 7-11 at 8am for a morning "Slurpee?" They didn't drive there together, he got out of the truck and she drove off. So, your thinking prostitute, right. I don't think so, she kissed him goodbye and said "Have a great day!"

I should add, just so that you are picturing it properly. She looked about 16. He looked about 22. They both looked like the couple you would see at the State Fair. She'd be in a belly-baring tank top. He'd be wearing cut-off denim with no shirt. She'd have a stuffed animal clipped to her belt loop. They'd be sharing a turkey leg in between make out sessions.

People! This is not acceptable human behavior. Get a hotel room for an hour. Park in a huge Walmart parking lot at the back where no one is. But for goodness sakes, don't park at the 7-11 which only has 5 parking spots anyway and leave your window of the truck down for God and everyone to see you!

And, my message to the girl is - Honey, respect yourself enough to make him buy you a donut first!

Bravo's New Shows

2009-04-09T16:35:00.005-05:00

Bravo is debuting a new show this summer about NYC high school students...you can read about it here...NYCPREP

I checked out the cast, and all the major gossip girl characters seem to be there...Camille is definitely a Blair.

I must say I am intrigued and will have to give it a go.

_____________

With Project Runway moving to the Lifetime Network, Bravo must have scrambled to create a replacement. Fashion Show debuts on Bravo on May 7th. Isaac Mizrahi is no Michael Kors, but we'll see what he's got!!

That's it! I've held my tongue long enough!!!

2009-04-09T09:20:00.005-05:00

So, I hate to admit this, but I have been watching the Real Housewives of NYC. Watching this show just infuriates me to no end. Why then do I watch it, you ask? I DON'T KNOW. I can't stop.

So, last night I saw something that made me actually throw a spoon at the television. Here is the scenario:

This one housewife, Countess De Lesseps, went to volunteer at Big Brothers/Big Sisters for a confidence and self-esteem building program. This is a woman who claims to be a classy lady, and is even writing a book about etiquette!!! So, when they go around the table saying what they what to be when they grow up, one girl says "babysitter" - Countess laughs. Another girl says she wants to be a model. Countess asks her if she is tall, asks her how old she is, and tells her she has a beautiful face. THEN SHE SAYS, and I kid you not: "the weight loss is the easy part."

This girl was 10 years old, and by no means a skinny skinny girl, but she wasn't huge either. BUT DON'T SAY THAT TO A 10 YEAR OLD AT A SELF-ESTEEM BUILDING PROGRAM!!!!

She is a FU*KING MORON!! Which leads me to my next rant....who the hell picked this set of women to represent NYC's social elite? No offense, but these people are atrocious!!! The fact that they agreed to do this show is proof that they have no class!!!

Friday Fun Facts (and observations)

2009-04-03T08:46:00.003-05:00

How did Taylor Swift get such a southern twang if she is from Philly?

Watched Jimmy Fallon's late night show for the first time, he bombed on the monologue. Is that usual? Was painful to watch.

Brought donuts for the office today...ate a dozen donut holes!

Running out of tv shows to be obsessed with. Tried "Better off Ted" and "In the Motherhood"...not funny.

I tasted my 7 mo old daughter's food last night. Frozen baby food - sweet potatoes...YUMMMY

I need to go to the optometrist so badly! I sometimes have to cover my left eye to be able to read my screen.

I have many work related annoyances right now, and I am too scared someone from work might happen upon this blog so I don't post about them.

Sad Story

2009-03-24T17:17:00.002-05:00

I just read the saddest story on WWD. It is very well written, I couldn't stop reading it. I feel a bit like Debbie Downer posting something like this, but for some reason I feel compelled to share the sad story of these two men:

http://www.wwd.com/fashion-news/colton-and-bernard-an-anatomy-of-a-double-suicide-2080081?module=today#/articlehttp://www.wwd.com/fashion-news/colton-and-bernard-an-anatomy-of-a-double-suicide-2080081?full=true

I Want Candy!

2009-03-20T14:44:00.002-05:00

Candy = Shoes!!!

A new shopping addiction

2009-03-17T09:00:00.002-05:00

I have developed a whole new level of retail abuse. Much like alcohol abuse, my retail abuse problem includes periods of binging and purging (much more binging than purging). Here is the problem...super-secret-members only-discount sales!!!

I am now a member of at least 4-5 different groups. One site in particular sells one baby/child item each day for at least 50% off. Each day I check out what the item is and damn near every day, I buy the damn thing. I (Kate) don't need it, I (Kate) don't even want it, but if you tell me it used to cost $99 and I can have it for $39, I CAN'T SAY NO. What if I (Kate) decide I (Kate) need it some day.

I am the proud owner of several blankets, play mats, boots, diaper bags, travel bags, books, baby legs tights, clothes and shoes (some of which won't even fit for a year) and various other items that I ordered. You have to act fast or they will sell out, and what if I don't buy that pair of beach socks to protect her feet in the sand while they are 50% off!!!??? What kind of mother wouldn't want to protect her baby's feet in the sand.

Someone needs to stop me! Block the website from my computer.

Quiz Friday

2009-03-13T10:48:00.002-05:00

THREE THINGS ABOUT ME!

Three Names I go by
1. Kari
2. Karioke
3. Beav (from a former life)

Three jobs I have had in my life
1. McDonalds
2. Bank Teller
3. Attorney

Three Places I have lived
1. Pawnee, Ok
2. Stillwater, Ok
3. Edmond, Ok

Three shows that I watch
1. Brothers and Sisters
2. Castle (giving it a shot)
3. Gossip Girl

Three places I have been
1. The Circle Line in New York City
2. Fisherman's Wharf in San Fransciso
3. Gilley's Bar in Texas at the ripe old age of 6!!!

Three people that e-mail me regularly
1. My mother
2. Saks (gotta learn about those deals!)
3. My secretary

Three of my favorite foods
1. Sushi
2. Cake
3. Roma Panini from the Spicy Pickle

Three things I'm looking forward to
1. Taking Kate to the beach
2. Watching a good movie
3. Getting to sleep for more than 3-4 hours at a time.

You should see the other baby!!!!

2009-03-12T12:40:00.001-05:00

My daughter looks like she got into a fight with the other babies at daycare!!! No worries, she wasn't hit by anyone, just a case of pinkeye. Nonetheless, the picture is hilarious.

I suck.

2009-03-10T10:04:00.003-05:00

So, I am horrible at this Lent resolution to blog everyday. But like Jahni says, we don't even observe lent...so it doesn't count that I broke my resolution. However, I do have a few things to say today.

(1) Not a good idea to drive to Tulsa on a Monday night for a concert.

(2) Not a good idea to pay $14 a drink at the show.

(3) Not a good idea to text message your friends/family/boss during said concert and after said drinks.

(4) Having a baby trains you to operate with no sleep so the fact that we didn't get home until 3 am and I got up at 6 am aint no thang!

Here is a shot on my horrible camera phone of the NKOTB concert last night in Tulsa. We laughed, we cried (because of the laughing), but all in all, it was an event not to be missed!

Interesting Observations

2009-03-05T14:12:00.003-06:00

Today I became very aware of how people walk. In my opinion, walking, much like breathing, should be completely involuntary. You don't have to think much about it, you just do it. On my walk to lunch today (the first time in months that I actually left the office to eat lunch - except for the many days I wasn't in the office to begin with), it became apparent that many people walk in such a manner as to seem in distress. They seem to have to work so hard at it. These people seem to be so inefficient at walking it was ridiculous. The over-exaggeration of the shift of weight from one side to the other in between steps was insane. Boys, girls, young, and old, thin and not-so-thin. No one could simply walk effortlessly. Is it the weather? I thought it might be the wind, but once inside, the observation was consistent. This puzzles me.

NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

2009-03-04T10:35:00.002-06:00

I can't fail the first week!!! Okay, seriously, we get one mulligan right? I was sick. I was super sick didn't get out of bed for over 24 hours sick, didn't know if I was going to make it out alive sick.

I am still sick, but had to come to work to deal with some stuff. Which brings me to my thought of today. I officially dress like a mom. I look like I walked straight out of the pages of a resort wear catalog...most likely Michael Kors. Wearing jeans with driving mocs and a cardi-set!!!

I guess it is better than food stained sweat pants, but it is a slippery slope!

Twitteritis

2009-03-02T12:20:00.002-06:00

I think being a Twitter user makes it hard for me to post anything longer than 140 characters! This blogging everyday thing is pretty tough. So, I've decided I don't have to be lengthy at all. Here is a random sampling of thoughts for the day.

(1) I am very sick. Go home from work early sick. Laying in my office on my sofa covered with my coat near the space heater sick. Upside...maybe I'll loose the last of that baby weight.

(2) What is the definition of a white lie? Is it an insignificant lie or is it a lie that must be told to save the feelings of another? I think the latter. I told a white lie today.

(3) Hot Spaghettios feels way better on my throat than soup.

(4) My shoes don't go with my outfit today, but I was forced to wear them b/c it is the only clean outfit I have left and the shoes that go with it are too tall and make me look like an idiot in flood pants. I had to make a judgment call and these shoes are less likely to be noticed than flood pants.

P.S.

2009-02-28T19:37:00.002-06:00

I should announce that Saturdays and Sunday's don't count in the book of Jahni&Kari......

I am a Taurus...

2009-02-27T17:16:00.002-06:00

I never read horoscopes, but I am that bored today at work (unless you work with me, then I was super busy and needed a mindless break). This is mine today:

Many of your own personal goals have either been met or are in the process of manifesting,
dear Taurus, and this has you feeling exhilarated. However, others around you might have
their hands out. You might be asked to contribute to charities, or to make personal loans to
people whom you don't really know very well. You tend to want to be of assistance wherever
you can, but be discriminating about who you help right now. Some may be less than
trustworthy.

WRONG!
_________________

I woul like to challenge Jahni (whatwouldjahnido.blogspot.com) about her blogging. I think she is cheating by simply posting another persons work!!!!

Can't make chicken salad out of chickensh*t...

2009-02-26T20:45:00.002-06:00

This article from MSN's lifestyle section really cracks me up:

http://lifestyle.msn.com/your-look/everyday-style/articlecosmo.aspx?cp-documentid=17335430

I think it is packed full of horrible advice! It suggests spraying water on jeans that are too tight in order to stretch them, using self-tanner to make your legs look thinner, and my personal fave:

10. Beautify on the FlyIt’s every woman’s worst nightmare: You’re schlepping through the
produce aisle in sweatpants when you spot your ex with a hot new chick. First, move safely
out of his line of sight. Next, “Pinch your cheeks for an instantly flushed look, then bite
your lips and lick them to make them look really juicy,” says makeup artist Mally Roncal.
“If you’re wearing eyeliner, smudge it with your finger for a quick smoky eye.” Finally, flip
your head over and shake out your hair to get that sexy, bedhead look. Now, take a deep
breath, walk right up to them, and say hi.

Try all of that, without a mirror, and I'm afraid you'll look like a cheap hooker!!! Like someone slapped your face and drug you down the aisle by your hair! I say, hide hide hide!

If your jeans don't fit, don't wear them. Skip the self-tanner or you'll just have orange streaky legs...just wear pants!

Geez! Do they pay people for this advice!?

40 days and 40 nights...

2009-02-25T10:37:00.002-06:00

So, my pal Jahni, http://whatwouldjahnido.blogspot.com, and I have resolved to blog everyday for lent. While optimistic, I see failure in my future. Today has been an insane day and I already thought to myself "can't I start tomorrow?" Of course, that would be ridiculous, so I am posting this blog just to comply with our resolution. Then theoretically, the blogging starts tomorrow.

I am good at cheating the system! Until tomorrow!

Are you committing a deadly sin?

2008-03-17T15:04:00.004-05:00

The Vatican has decided to add 7 more sins to the original 7 deadly sins. Thanks to Brad Pitt and the movie Seven, we are all familiar with the 7 original deadly sins:

1. Lust
2. Greed
3. Pride
4. Sloth
5. Envy
6. Gluttony
7. Wrath

Well, as if that wasn't enough to worry about, there are 7 new "social" deadly sins. We now have 14 express lanes straight to eternal hell-fire and damnation! The new sins are:

1. ``Bioethical' violations such as birth control
2. ``Morally dubious'' experiments such as stem cell research
3. Drug abuse
4. Polluting the environment
5. Contributing to widening divide between rich and poor
6. Excessive wealth
7. Creating poverty

Beware SUV driving soccer moms! You are no longer safe! That gas-guzzling environmental killer of yours will get you black-balled from heaven!

You can read more about it here: http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/custom/religion/chi-sins-list11mar11,1,4556764.story

Kari vs. Counterfeiters

2008-03-17T14:48:00.002-05:00

Those who know me well know that I have a passion for fashion and design. Even stronger is my stance against violating intellectual property laws by counterfeiting. Well, I decided if I was going to talk the talk, I better walk the walk. I could remain silent no longer.

In December, as I was visiting a local Edmond salon for my usual color and cut, I was appalled to see that the salon was selling counterfeit Chanel and Tiffany jewelry. While I wanted to take a baseball bat to the jewelry case and conduct a citizens arrest on the owners, I decided to take a less violent approach and contacted Chanel and Tiffany to report this heinous crime. I was skeptical that any action would be taken, but felt better about myself for taking action.

Well, I returned to said salon (I know I should have boycotted, but its hard to find a good stylist!) this week only to discover that all the fake crap was GONE!!!! All of it, two jewelry cases, GONE!!! Coincidence? I think not!

For those keeping score:
Counterfeiters 1,000,000
Kari 1

But don't count me out yet!

Say it isn't so!!!

2007-12-05T14:48:00.000-06:00

We interrupt the 10-part series of Kari's Favorite Things to address a frightening issue. Our worst fears have come true! (Well, maybe not our worst, chunky heeled shoes circa 1998 are NOT back in fashion) But the next worse thing might be...belly bearing clothes might be on the way back in for Spring 2008. It has been reported in New York Magazine's "Three is a Trend" that the the runways of Marc Jacobs, Phillip Lim, and Anna Sui recently included midriff bearing styles.

This is NOT okay with me. Shame on you Marc, Phillip, and Anna! Is this a sick little joke the three of you are playing on us? It would be one thing if this would stay contained to the runways and the pages of magazines. But it won't. It would even be okay if people were blessed with the ability to self-edit their own fashion choices. But they aren't. This horrid little trend will trickle on down to the streets of Anytown, USA where no place will be safe! We will no longer be able to go shopping, dining, bowling (ok, this trend never did leave the bowling alleys), etc. without our eyes melting out of our heads after seeing the multitudes of bare-skinned muffin tops peeking out of the belly shirts! From tweenagers to cougars on the prowl, they'll be bellies galore! I hope you'll be able to sleep at night after the horror you have inflicted upon the public!

Kari's Favorite Thing #6

2007-12-05T09:34:00.000-06:00

#6 Choxie Champagne Truffles

Choxie is a brand of chocolates made exclusively for Target stores. I've tried several of their different varieties of chocolate and most all of it is pretty good. They make candy bars, truffles, and more. They have some interesting flavors like pear truffles and chile truffles. My favorite is the Champagne Truffles. They don't actually taste like champagne in the middle, but they are quite yummy nonetheless. The center is made of actual cocoa butter instead of hydrogenated oils like some. They are a sweet little treat.

Kari's Favorite Thing #7

2007-11-29T15:59:00.000-06:00

#7 Intervention AK-Pure Blemish Gel

by Laboratoire Dr. Renaud

This is a miracle in a bottle! I discovered this little beauty secret about two weeks ago. And of course, it takes me a week to remember to use it. If you use this stuff at the first inkling of a blemish, the blemish will just disappear! If it's too late and the blemish has already popped up, dab it on and that little sucker will shrink and disappear in about a day or two.

The main ingredients are listed as: Japanese Camphor, complex sugars,and glycolic acid. I paid $18 at a spa and have seen it on the internet for about $20 as well. It is well worth it. Others I know swear by it as well. Run, don't walk and snatch some up! You'll thank me...and Dr. Renaud!

Kari's Favorite Thing #8

2007-11-29T11:15:00.000-06:00

#8 WEEDS

WEEDS airs on Showtime. Here is Showtime's description of the show:

"Nancy Botwin (Mary Louise Parker) struggles with the sudden death of her husband and agonizes over how she'll support and raise two young boys on her own. Without any discernable career skills, the widow Botwin finds good paying work as the local pot dealer in the pristine, new LA suburb known as Agrestic. There's definitely a double meaning when this girl puts on her Mary Janes."

I love this show. I don't even have Showtime. My good friend Jahni gave me her DVD of Season One after her father threatened to send her to military school if she didn't get that trash out of his house! Well, I watched the entire season one weekend and was hooked! Hooked on Weeds! I then downloaded season two from itunes and watched it, usually at work! (Don't tell on me!) Season three just ended on Showtime, and damn it, I still don't have Showtime. Those who know me know I would NEVER EVER download anything illegally from the internet. But, I have heard that the show is available out there on the world wide web. This friend I know has watched it that way. Not me, my friend!

Kari's Favorite Thing #9

2007-11-27T12:15:00.001-06:00

#9 Mossimo T-shirt - Target

My favorite t-shirt ever is from Target. I've tried James Perse, Michael Stars and the like, and this t-shirt is the best. The best part is that it is less than $10. The short-sleeved version is equally as nice and usually around $8. They are 100% cotton and tagless for comfort. This shirt comes in crewneck and v-neck and in lots of colors. As a matter of fact, I am wearing my $10 Target t-shirt right now, at work!

Kari's Favorite Things - #10

2007-11-20T19:03:00.000-06:00

#10 Shu Uemura Eyelash Curler

You might think any ol' eyelash curler will do, but I've tried them all and this one really is the best! It's only $18 and works like a dream! Don't take my word for it, here is Sephora's description:

"Perfectly measured and finely balanced, the new shu uemura Eyelash Curler is designed to ensure superior functionality and performance. The upgraded silicone pad in a new "mushroom" shape provides a protective, stay-put edge for improved safety and optimum curl. The new, patented hinge is specifically engineered to apply the perfect amount of pressure on eyelashes. The calculated shape, size of frame length and ergonomic handles ensure stability and control, while the curved angle suits all eye shapes."

Kari's Favorite Things

2007-11-20T09:52:00.001-06:00

I may not be Oprah, but I have a few favorite things. Stay tuned for my 10 part series!

Mr. Rock does not Roll

2007-11-09T14:42:00.000-06:00

Have you heard this new song "Amen" by Kid Rock? When I first heard it, I thought it was a joke. It sounds like a bad Alan Jackson spoof. It kind of reminds me of the song on from "Team America World Police" and the rhyming portion of the song sounds like something you would hear on an after-school special or School House Rock.

Second of all, my local radio station is reporting that Kid's new album is or was the No.1 selling album in America. If this is true, why oh why is he playing a concert at Riverwind Casino? I cannot decide if this is an upgrade or downgrade from playing Frontier City, but all signs are saying downgrade. Granted, I have not been to Riverwind Casino, so I should reserve my judgment until I have. But, I have never been one to reserve judgment, why start now!

Kari's Unofficial Halloween Costume Contest

2007-10-31T16:25:00.001-05:00

I wanted to throw a halloween party this year and host a costume contest. But since today is Halloween and I failed to get it done, I have searched the internet for costumes that caught my eye. I posted my favorites here for all to enjoy.

Ugly dinnerware, Ugly attitude!

2007-10-16T15:27:00.000-05:00

An article on CNN.com reports that a bride is suing her florist for breach of contract because her flowers were the wrong color!

http://www.cnn.com/2007/LIVING/wayoflife/10/16/bride.flowers.ap/index.html?iref=mpstoryview

I did a little research into this story and came across this chick's wedding registry. You can tell a lot from a girl's wedding registry. And after seeing hers, all I can say is: What else would you expect from a girl that wants to eat off of those ugly $45 plates! You can check out her other selections here:

http://bloomingdales.weddingchannel.com/gvr/guestregistrydetail.action?retailer_registry_uid=303117899&listby=dept

Kari's Law #1: No more handshakes!

2007-10-08T14:12:00.000-05:00

I have decided that our society should abolish the handshake. It serves NO purpose. I am not a man, so I cannot speak to the male perspective, but for us gals, you get one of two options:
(1) you get some horrible, limp, half-shake when a man shakes your hand - I've never been a hairy-legged women-libber, but if you are going to shake my hand, shake it like a man!
OR
(2) the man doesn't shake your hand (after shaking all the men's hands in the room). That's right, good ol' discrimination!

I choose option two, because I have an even more compelling reason why we should no longer shake hands in this great society, GERMS. Seriously, I don't know what you've been doing with your hand. I read an article recently that stated that 1/3 of men don't wash their hands after using the bathroom. The same goes for 12% of women. That is just disgusting. Essentially, if I shake three men's hands in a day, at least one of them had previously touched their "dangling participle" (thanks Jahni for the terminology). It is highly likely that I walk in to a room and get introduced to a dude that just used the restroom without washing. So, the last thing that hand touched was his manhorn. That is NOT okay with me! So, I will no longer be shaking hands. Period. I am sure that I can't quit cold-turkey, but I'm sure gonna try.

Working to death...

2007-10-03T08:38:00.000-05:00

It is only Wednesday morning and I have already billed 29.7 hours this week! And as they say, "All work and no play, makes Kari a dull girl" A few of my co-workers and I created a poem last night during the stormy weather:

Twas a dark and stormy night,
And all through the office,
Every creature was working,
Except for the bosses!

Research was to be done,
And Motions drafted,
The law was analyzed,
and arguments crafted.

The week was dragging on
the days seeming longer
but what does not kill them
will only make them stronger!

Once a leader, now a follower...

2007-09-26T11:33:00.000-05:00

Since I've discovered that everyone and their dog has a blog (and seriously, dogs have blogs!), I decided that I felt left out. I too must blog. Although I hate the word "blog." So, I too must tell my tales. However, if the truth be known...I have been trying to talk my good pal Jahni into starting a blog for quite some time. She is hilarious and has much to say. The world needs to hear it. So, I played the "If I blog, will you?" card to get her started. Her blog is WWjD: What would Jahni Do...and can be found here: http://whatwouldjahnido.blogspot.com/ Check her out, you can thank me later!

Jahni - I've outed you to the world! Except that you are the only one that knows about my blog, so I think your secret is safe. For now.

Once Upon A Time,

2007-09-25T16:03:00.000-05:00

"Once Upon A Time..." Isn't that how all fairy tales begin? Well, my life may be no fairy tale, but perhaps my Kari Tales will be just as entertaining. Although, I have been referred to on multiple occassions as "Princess Kari" and many have told me I tend to live in a fantasy land! Whether that is good or bad, maybe my Kari Tales will be like fairy tales in one way or another.