Monday, October 8, 2007

Kari's Law #1: No more handshakes!

I have decided that our society should abolish the handshake. It serves NO purpose. I am not a man, so I cannot speak to the male perspective, but for us gals, you get one of two options:
(1) you get some horrible, limp, half-shake when a man shakes your hand - I've never been a hairy-legged women-libber, but if you are going to shake my hand, shake it like a man!
(2) the man doesn't shake your hand (after shaking all the men's hands in the room). That's right, good ol' discrimination!

I choose option two, because I have an even more compelling reason why we should no longer shake hands in this great society, GERMS. Seriously, I don't know what you've been doing with your hand. I read an article recently that stated that 1/3 of men don't wash their hands after using the bathroom. The same goes for 12% of women. That is just disgusting. Essentially, if I shake three men's hands in a day, at least one of them had previously touched their "dangling participle" (thanks Jahni for the terminology). It is highly likely that I walk in to a room and get introduced to a dude that just used the restroom without washing. So, the last thing that hand touched was his manhorn. That is NOT okay with me! So, I will no longer be shaking hands. Period. I am sure that I can't quit cold-turkey, but I'm sure gonna try.

1 comment:

  1. hahahaha...i think you've just given enough reason to bring the no touch air kiss to oklahoma.

    But yeah...i'm totally buying you a t-shirt that says "Go Shake Yourself" or possibly a business card to hand out with a picture of a urinal that reads "Did you wash your hands?"