Thursday, February 26, 2009

Can't make chicken salad out of chickensh*t...

This article from MSN's lifestyle section really cracks me up:

I think it is packed full of horrible advice! It suggests spraying water on jeans that are too tight in order to stretch them, using self-tanner to make your legs look thinner, and my personal fave:

10. Beautify on the FlyIt’s every woman’s worst nightmare: You’re schlepping through the
produce aisle in sweatpants when you spot your ex with a hot new chick. First, move safely
out of his line of sight. Next, “Pinch your cheeks for an instantly flushed look, then bite
your lips and lick them to make them look really juicy,” says makeup artist Mally Roncal.
“If you’re wearing eyeliner, smudge it with your finger for a quick smoky eye.” Finally, flip
your head over and shake out your hair to get that sexy, bedhead look. Now, take a deep
breath, walk right up to them, and say hi.

Try all of that, without a mirror, and I'm afraid you'll look like a cheap hooker!!! Like someone slapped your face and drug you down the aisle by your hair! I say, hide hide hide!

If your jeans don't fit, don't wear them. Skip the self-tanner or you'll just have orange streaky legs...just wear pants!

Geez! Do they pay people for this advice!?


  1. I'd say: change supermarket, if your ex shops there!
    Buy bigger jeans, go on a diet, or wear skirts
    And avoid self tanner: not only it gives your legs orange stripes, but alsosmells really bad!!!

  2. I think I saw the woman in tip #10 in WalMart today! She was wearing a dirty tweety bird t-shirt and ripped grey sweatpants, had 4 kids trailing after her and one on her hip...Bet the ex was JEALOUS!!!