Friday, July 10, 2009

A Slurpee and a Big Gulp

I never dreamed those words would ever take on any meaning other than a cold refreshing beverage on a hot day. Unfortunately, my most recent trip to 7-11 changed that. It was 8:00 in the morning. I was hitting the ATM on my way to work (yes, I was almost on time that day.) As I excited the store, I realized that the truck I parked next to, that I thought had one guy sitting in it (passenger), actually had two people in it. I was unable to see the female occupant (driver) of the truck until her head popped up from the passenger side seating area. Even then I was totally naive and didn't realize what was going on until I saw her wipe her face off!!!

That's right folks, the passenger guy was enjoying a "Slurpee" and the driver girl had to take a "Big Gulp" when he was done!!!! I felt completely violated. It was 8am for goodness sakes! I hadn't even had my coffee yet. Once I realized what was going on, my brain went into overdrive. I had so many questions. How in the world do two people end up in 7-11 at 8am for a morning "Slurpee?" They didn't drive there together, he got out of the truck and she drove off. So, your thinking prostitute, right. I don't think so, she kissed him goodbye and said "Have a great day!"

I should add, just so that you are picturing it properly. She looked about 16. He looked about 22. They both looked like the couple you would see at the State Fair. She'd be in a belly-baring tank top. He'd be wearing cut-off denim with no shirt. She'd have a stuffed animal clipped to her belt loop. They'd be sharing a turkey leg in between make out sessions.

People! This is not acceptable human behavior. Get a hotel room for an hour. Park in a huge Walmart parking lot at the back where no one is. But for goodness sakes, don't park at the 7-11 which only has 5 parking spots anyway and leave your window of the truck down for God and everyone to see you!

And, my message to the girl is - Honey, respect yourself enough to make him buy you a donut first!

1 comment:

  1. still haven't been able to hear/say/think about the words Slurpee or Gulp without my stomach lurching....bleh!